Oh, the grocery store...

So, my very least favorite thing in the world is to go grocery shopping with my kids. I do anything and everything I can to avoid this necessary evil, from sending my husband on a quick shopping trip after work, to simply going without (Uh, sorry kids, we're out of bread, so, hmmm, how about scrambled eggs and broccoli for lunch?).

Anyway, it became apparent that I needed to do a major shopping trip because we were nearing the end of our food reserves, and it was hard to keep finding creative meals using our food storage pasta. Well, planning a shopping trip isn't exactly easy in my world. I mean, I have to make a menu so I have a plan, and then I have to make a shopping list so I don't go crazy and buy things I don't need. When I make a list, I put the items in order from the produce to the baby section so I can make a loop in the store, which helps me maximize my time so I can get in and out more efficiently. And not only that, but before I can even get out the door, I have to make sure I nurse Andrew so he can endure the 1 1/2 to 2 hour shopping trip without needing to be fed. Also, I want to plan so that I can be back in time for Maya's nap, so she can get a little sleep before we have to pick up Alex from school--otherwise I have a little monster on my hands for the rest of the day. So, the stage is set...

My plan was to drop the kids off at school and head to Walmart, which is about 20-25 minutes from my house. I figured I would have enough time to get there and be back in time to pick up McKenna from Kindergarten. We would then have a nice lunch and I would be able to put Maya down for her nap and finish putting away the groceries before I had to pick up Alex. One thing I have learned while having an infant is that you really can't make "plans"--they always get interrupted, it's Murphy's Law. So the morning begins like this. I wake up and realize I overslept because Andrew had kept me up a lot of the night. Mistake #1. It is now 8:00 AM and the kids have to be to school by 9:00 AM. In the rush to get the kids fed and ready for school, I realize that I won't have time to shower and feed Andrew before I have to take the kids to school--so I take them in my pajamas and head home to start Plan B. OK, not a total loss, I can finish getting ready and feed Andrew in time to pick up McKenna and leave right from there. We'll have to eat lunch in the car, but we should still be able to be home in time for Maya's nap.

Well, surprisingly, I was able to finish up my list and shower and get dressed pretty quickly. I even nursed Andrew, and had Maya dressed and ready for the day. Hope starts to build once again. I picked up McKenna and thought, "Let's just get to the store--I'll get lunch for the girls on the way home." I really wanted to hurry through the store and I thought they could wait an hour for lunch. Mistake #2

We arrive at Walmart. Let's just say I have a "love-hate" relationship with Walmart--I love the prices and hate the customer service. I'll just leave it at that. Anyway, when I have my kids with me, it is necessary to have one of those big shopping carts with the two seats in front so I can put Andrew on top in his car seat and have Maya and McKenna somewhat contained in the other seats. Well, they didn't have any of those shopping carts on the side we entered, so I figured it would be OK to let McKenna and Maya hold onto the shopping cart and walk by me. I didn't want to take the time to drag my kids to the other side to find the shopping cart we needed. Mistake #3

So, the shopping begins. We start in the produce and the girls immediately run to the vegetables where the automatic "rain shower" is in progress. Maya starts getting distracted and wants to run. I said, "Maya, you need to stay by Mommy or you are going to have to get into the cart." Well, she keeps running, so into the cart she goes. After some screaming and crying, she calms down. Now I have 2 new problems--she keeps trying to stand up in the cart, and I also realize that with my huge shopping list she won't be able to stay in the cart for long. After making her sit down several times, we arrive at the deli. Now, at Walmart they give free cookies in the bakery, and my kids know this, so they immediately begin begging for a cookie. I would rather they wait until after they have lunch to have a cookie, but since I didn't feed them lunch on the way to the store, I decide to pick my battles and let them have one.

The next few aisles were uneventful, since Maya was contentedly eating her cookie. However, by the time we reached the cereal aisle, there was no more room in the cart for Maya. "McKenna", I said, "could you please be a big helper and hold Maya's hand while we finish shopping so she won't run away from the cart?" She agreed and out came Maya. They held hands for a while until Maya started running and pulled McKenna with her, which quickly became a game. Andrew started getting fussy about this time because he was tired and starting to get hungry. So while I was trying to calm Andrew, I was also trying to stop McKenna and Maya from running up and down the aisles. I finally caught Maya's arm and tried to pull her over to the cart, but she resisted and ended up falling on the ground. She would not get up and started throwing one of her four-star tantrums while other shoppers had to maneuver around her, casting annoyed looks in my direction. "Don't you just love 2-year olds?", I said with a smile right back at them. When Maya realized she wasn't going to get the attention she wanted, she started crawling around and found some old, dried fruit snacks on the floor that she proceeded to put into her mouth. I was, of course, too late, but she seemed to enjoy the fruit snacks and the reaction she got from me.

By this point, I'd had enough, so I pulled her to her feet and held her hand on the shopping cart and started moving through the rest of the store. She tried and tried to escape, and she succeeded a few times, but I was able to distract her by asking her to help me put things into the cart. Once I got Maya under control, Andrew really started screaming. I raced through the rest of the store and on to the checkout where I had to wait an eternity before it was finally my turn (Walmart never has enough checkers). While I was busy putting grocery bags into the cart, Andrew was so upset his face was almost purple, and Maya was trying to put candy bars into the cart. There was the nicest little Nun who was in line behind me and she was trying to calm down Andrew while I was paying for my groceries--however, it seemed to make him even more mad. I wanted to ask her to please stop touching him, but I could tell she was really trying to help so I just bit my tongue and loaded the groceries as fast as I could. We were finally able to escape the store, but remember, my girls had still not eaten lunch and we were also about 20 minutes from my house. Andrew was still screaming and the girls were complaining from hunger so I pulled into the closest Wendy's and threw their lunch to them in the back seat and drove home as fast as I possibly could (without getting caught). It was 2:30 PM and I had to leave to pick up Alex at 3:00 PM, so when I got home, I ran the groceries inside and left immediately for Alex's school. While we were waiting for Alex, I pulled Andrew out of his car seat and nursed him. Maya didn't get her nap, and I'm sure you can imagine my day from there! Oh, I just love the grocery store!